PPHA Forums
Everything Else => Off Topic => Topic started by: Hern on January 25, 2017, 07:06:28 AM
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Three elderly men were discussing the trials of getting older.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second ole guy chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down. "
The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," he raps his knuckles on the table, then says, "That must be the door, I'll get it."
*disclaimer
;D The names have been changed to protect 3 PPHA members ;D
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PERFECT !!! 8) 8) 8)
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I like it
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D LOL-LOL!! I know those guys!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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My wife & I rarely go out to eat.
Last Wednesday, we did just that with some family & friends.
I got cleaned up, brushed my teeth and shaved.
Put on my corduroys pants, oxford shirt and dress shoes.
Had a great time, good company, good food.
When we got home, my wife said, 'You have old man chin'.
What do you mean?, I ask.
'You missed a spot on your chin when shaving.' 'I saw it when we were eating', she answered.
I went to the mirror and shaved that spot off.
Seems I did have old man chin.
It's a missed spot around the jaw where you continue up or come down.
What the heck am I getting at? I don't know but I'll pay closer attention next time.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Let it all grow and become a fuzzy face!! :o :o :o :o And just for the record, ??? ??? ??? ???she was politely telling you that you no longer have a baby face :o :o :o :o :o :o ya old coot!! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
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Am defiantly ole coot 8)
I prove that at least once a week
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Am defiantly ole coot 8)
I prove that at least once a week
And I have the scars to prove it. :-[ :-[
When it is proven............some of the first thoughts.........
1..does everything still work as it should
2..is there any bleeding
3..did anybody see that
4..man,what the hell was I thinking
by this time if there is anybody within ear shot...........now they hear you cussing up a storm. ;) ;) ;D ;D ;D
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Good one, longhair.
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:) *disclaimer
;D The names have been changed to protect 3 PPHA members ;D
>:( GOOSE!!!! I'll bet if that was about us ::) they would have published the names :P :P :P.....but NO! >:( Dreamcatcher,Buckwheat and Longhair get a pass..... :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X........................ 8)
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:( :( :( :( Ole coot population is up this year as fur prices are down!! :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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:) Good thing as some Coots are looking furry :o :o................ 8)
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??? ??? ??? ??? You be lookin front or back of them?? :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
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Guess who's on the boards...Pa Goosehntr, jaspr1, Hern
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>:( >:( >:( >:( Well Hern fell asleep or the CRs have worn him out, maybe he's stuck in the mud... ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) now jaspr1 has been on the boards....but quiet :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X Guess I'm the only loud typer on here lately ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Go back to work Timmy!! :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ Ernie, well what can I say, he's checking those worm hole flags to make sure nobody moved them on him...ya know you can cornfuse him easily.... :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
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Been messing around in the shed, Goose. Working on some trapping projects for next season.
I did take a short nap yesterday because of staying up late for the Super Bowl. But not usually a nap taker.
Wife and I liked Lady Ga Ga's show. First time I saw or hear heard. She caught that diving pass at end of performance as good as Julio Jones.
Lookn4anap probably started his work week.
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;) ;) Hey, I got the roses and grape arbor trimmed..cleaned out the bird boxes too!! ;) ;) ;) ;)
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True Story
Last week's Blizzard... ole Coot moment
Knee deep snow, snowing sideways, wind blowing hard & frigid conditions.
I was outside trying to keep up with the shoveling and plowing.
Had to pee. Pee now!
Nobody around here, So I'll pee outside...
Unzipped my coat
Unzipped my insulated bibs
Unzipped my jeans
Found my way thru the longjohns
to my boxer shorts
That's where I had a problem and ole coot moment...
I had my boxers on backwards!
I
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D LOL-LOL-LOL...you just can't make this stuff up!! ::) ::) ::) ::) it's the best reality show, Olde Coots in action!! :o :o :o :o :o
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:o :o :o :o :o I got to thinkin ::) ::) ::) ::) Hern this qualifies you for the Deckar....You were huntin and what you were huntin for was once upon a time a predator.... ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? soooo yo are now in the runnin for sure!! 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
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Well...I was hunt'n for thathere opening in my boxers! Son of a Biscuit
I will disqualify myself from the award because I wasn't out in the woods or fields. I was working removing snow. Plus I don't usually take my pistol out in thatthere extreme weather. ;D
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I'm still waiting on how the story ends.......
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:) Jake me to..... ;).............Goose me thinks Hern seems to be shying away from that PRESTIGIOUS AWARD for some reason ??? ??? ??? I guess he FEARS the backlash from "LookN2HaveItWonAlready" :P :P he doesn't want to lose his seat on the big FISHER trapping expedition this year! :o :o :o :o ................. 8)
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That is a good one for sure. I would have ripped my underwear off. ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Got to love the olde coots thinkin... :P :P :P :P :P :P
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I'm still waiting on how the story ends.......
LOL
It ended ok. I ran into one of our sheds and got things opened up in there...lol.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D LOL-LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D "No pee'n off the porch!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D comes to mind, gonna hafta git Hern one of those signs.. ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
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LOL... ya all no how it ends. Ya just continue to dig like a mad man until you find the bottom of your boxers shorts and hope you now have enough rope to get it around the bottom of your boxers shorts to the outside of you clothing quicker then you first planed.
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;D ;D ;D ;D Words of experience? ??? ??? ??? For Sure!! :o :o :o :o :o :o
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Goosebumps
There is only one way you also would know it is words of experience.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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As we SilverSurfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
I had a problem yesterday, so I called over the neighbor kid.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned ...'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down:
ID10T
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Hahaha! I'm going to use that one...
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:( :( :( :( Well I use the excuse of having fat fingers :o :o ID10T has been around for quite awhile....like IDC, IDK, LMFAO...etc. etc..
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Now that's funny!!!
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Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written."
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short, enjoy it.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the future.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood .
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Friends are the family that we choose.
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:o :o :o :o WOW!! That hit the nail on the head in every catagory!! ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)