Author Topic: Was you one of them.....  (Read 2767 times)

Offline longhair

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Was you one of them.....
« on: April 17, 2011, 09:43:59 PM »
Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma....

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow
beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking
arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a
1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?
Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I
was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in
chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
place

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a
shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my
head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would
probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr
old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the
can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex
and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?


You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other
can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're
cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock
to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow
launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad
getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work. So help me
God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad
was walking towards me in slow motion with a [beeep] look in his eyes. I turned
back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting
fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and
into the can. Oh shoot.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it
was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back
from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse
of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could
see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING
DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That sumbich got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE
YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. [beeep] IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All
windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow
rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda
185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are
drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I
know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head.
I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't
remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and
then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat
this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point
my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I
can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again,
Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort
of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's
good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
_________________________
It got me to think'n of some of the stuff that I did as a kid. ;D
Whatado !!!!
District 6
"When the queen is happy, There's peace in the kingdom."

Offline savage05

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Re: Was you one of them.....
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2011, 05:19:24 AM »
Omg I'm crying from laughing so hard.

Offline Pa Goosehntr

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Re: Was you one of them.....
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2011, 11:39:36 AM »
 :D And the truth comes out!!!! :o I knew there was something ajar there :D I knew the fall from the picnic bench didn't do it!!!
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uncle buck

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Re: Was you one of them.....
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2011, 12:54:29 PM »
Nice story...You should sell that for publication to one of the many magazines (Readers Digest) that publish short stories like that..

Offline bigben

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Re: Was you one of them.....
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2011, 03:13:58 PM »
look up tannerite.   ;D  you"ll have to ask hern how he got rid of pack rats one day at home.  I was laughin so darn hard after that story I couldn't see.  allmost as good as when dale's coat got the mange.  LOL
“If you want to know all about a man, go camping with him. Probably you think you know him already, but if you have never camped on the trail with him, you do not”. Eldred Nathaniel Woodcock. “Fifty Years a Hunter and Trapper.”